About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
by anon / 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/31/2015 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Animals
by EmbarrassedChild / 07/30/2015 at 7:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 2:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML
by RuasaLove / 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by roselysunset / 07/29/2015 at 1:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by HF44 / 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Oopsie / 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML
by Anonymous / 07/28/2015 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Slough) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/28/2015 at 2:44am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML
by anon / 07/28/2015 at 1:02am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to put a lasagna in the oven for dinner. I was greeted by a revolting scent of a chicken-soup and biscuits boxed dinner. The fridge apparently was too full for my brother to put it away inside, so he covered it up and forgot about it in the oven. We made that dinner two weeks ago. FML.
by Anonymous / 07/26/2015 at 6:43pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by rissa5214 / 07/26/2015 at 2:20pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I went on a fabulous date with a really cute, smart, funny guy. He only mentioned his dad, so when I asked about his mom, I asked if they were divorced. She'd died of breast cancer so I felt awful. Then I asked if his dad had ever remarried. His stepmom had died of cancer too. FML
by lextoast / 07/26/2015 at 2:15pm / Rwanda / Love
- Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided… Today, my live in boyfriend has been giving me the silent treatment for the last three days because…