About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
by Nick Pat / 09/30/2015 at 9:13am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/30/2015 at 6:18am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous
by Out of Ice Cream / 09/29/2015 at 1:06pm / United States / Love
Today, I was on the train next to an elderly woman. When I told her it was my stop, she turned her knees towards the aisle, and I, thinking that she was letting me go by, began to edge past. She screamed, "DON'T PUSH ME!" and the whole train turned to look. I was thus the asshole pushing the old lady. FML
by briscoe / 09/28/2015 at 10:48pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation
Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2015 at 4:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Work
by oops / 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML
by My Daughter Fails at Life / 09/25/2015 at 9:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML
by helpme / 09/25/2015 at 9:46am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love
by Failed_Dad / 09/25/2015 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Kids
by whatdidimarry / 09/24/2015 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous
Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML
by lovedoesnotexist / 09/24/2015 at 7:52am / Belgium / Love
by scoobysnarks / 09/24/2015 at 7:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by wandering_soul / 09/23/2015 at 2:44pm / United States / Work
by ImAnEngineer / 09/23/2015 at 1:09pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
by Colin Jr. / 09/23/2015 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so… Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine,… Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse…