About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML
by Ishikur / 02/03/2016 at 8:33am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML
by wideeyeddays / 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/02/2016 at 5:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML
by notsoproudfather / 02/01/2016 at 10:54am / India (Maharashtra) / Kids
Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work
by ugh / 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by whattheactualfuck / 01/22/2016 at 7:50am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous
by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 9:21pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by lolhailsatan / 01/19/2016 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by blah / 01/19/2016 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML
by kevinfmls / 01/15/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML
by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
- Today, I asked my husband of 15 years to get a vasectomy, as he's said for the past 13 we are done… Today, I bought a non-refundable $200 plane ticket to Ohio to be with my girlfriend who moved there… Today, I was at a restaurant (which is 1 hour away from home) with my family eating dinner. I went…