About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML
by notsoproudfather / 02/01/2016 at 10:54am / India (Maharashtra) / Kids
Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work
by ugh / 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by whattheactualfuck / 01/22/2016 at 7:50am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous
by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 9:21pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by lolhailsatan / 01/19/2016 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by blah / 01/19/2016 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML
by kevinfmls / 01/15/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML
by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML
by KereKris / 01/14/2016 at 7:11am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/13/2016 at 6:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML
by parasheeeet / 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of…