Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

amelia_suhayda

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

amelia_suhayda

3Fucked!

amelia_suhaydaamelia_suhayda
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 December 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17472
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.

amelia_suhayda's page activity

Visits<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:14am<b>Alole</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:02am<b>lonelysquid93</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:19am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:17am<b>abkfml</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:32am<b>Jason89</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:07pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:45pm<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:42pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 2:08pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:05am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 5:06pm<b>roza_and_dimka</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:43pm<b>whitty06</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:30am<b>darnellq</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:31am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:47am<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 5:28pm<b>rgnrk</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Amo1216</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:41am

Fucked!<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 5:03am<b>nitsuganayrem</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:51am

amelia_suhayda's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of amelia_suhayda's badges

amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs

Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML

#21450305
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18189) - you deserved it (1964)

On 08/01/2015 at 2:18am - work - by hook me up with some smack, Jack (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

#21450259
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (2156)

On 08/01/2015 at 12:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while volunteering at my local animal shelter, I was asked to clean the cat room. This entailed taking each cat out of its cage by hand and cleaning the inside. They forgot to mention that some of the cats were feral. I now look like I belly flopped into a cactus. FML

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He didn't break down into tears, or say he'd made a huge mistake, or even apologise. No, he just looked up and said "Bugger." FML

#21450122
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20680) - you deserved it (1642)

On 07/31/2015 at 5:04pm - love - by single and unbuggered (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13836) - you deserved it (22707)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML

#21450074
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (2152)

On 07/31/2015 at 2:55pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

#21449663
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19101) - you deserved it (1505)

On 07/30/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by EmbarrassedChild - United States

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23058) - you deserved it (1882)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23512) - you deserved it (1966)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (6532)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

#21449052
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (1334)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:07pm - misc - by roselysunset (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25673) - you deserved it (1432)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25697) - you deserved it (3189)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you deserved it (3334)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

#21448401
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (2544)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: