About amelia_suhayda : I like cooking, music, hockey, and schadenfreude.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
amelia_suhayda's favorite FMLs
Today, it's my birthday. I called my mom to thank her for the gift she'd sent. She was surprised and said, "Oh I thought you were waiting to open it." She ended the conversation with, "OK, I'll call you on your birthday." FML
by Trew Love / 05/03/2016 at 2:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my boyfriend of 5 years won't propose/marry me. He would rather wait for his estranged wife to meet someone, fall in love, decide to get married, and do the filing herself. He doesn't want to pay the couple of hundred dollars for the uncontested divorce filing. FML
by Ashley / 05/03/2016 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/02/2016 at 5:42pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, we were doing research on contraceptives in class. Afterwards, the girl next to me starts explaining how "cringey" and "grossed out" she gets when she sees/hears "the words for the private parts." She then tells me all about her getting her period that morning in explicit detail. FML
by howdoesthatmakesense / 05/02/2016 at 4:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to deal with a snobby rich woman who asked me to cure her daughter's "unhealthy obsession" with playing outside instead of watching TV with the rest of the family. She called me a liar when I said playing outside is a normal thing for a 6 year-old child to do. FML
by anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 1:59pm / United States / Work
Today, my boss sent me a message about a project, via WhatsApp. It's my day off, so I figured it could wait till I was able to give a flying fuck. Literally a minute later, he was spamming me, demanding to know why I'd left him as read and reminding me that he has firing powers. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 12:56am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 1:59pm / United States / Health
by Dashofweak / 04/26/2016 at 12:17pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by AcademicAdvisor / 04/25/2016 at 4:14pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend on the lobby's couch. We were not paying attention to anything but each other. Apparently, someone tied our shoes together. I stood up and faceplanted into a pool table. I'm now missing two teeth. FML
by Katt / 04/25/2016 at 2:04pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Why / 04/24/2016 at 2:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by need new job / 04/24/2016 at 2:12pm / Germany / Work
by dvddtraveller / 04/22/2016 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2016 at 4:28pm / United States (California) / Love
by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids