Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3206
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

amc597's page activity

Visits<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 8:24pm<b>itsjulia1</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 4:56pm<b>larg3</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 4:36pm<b>chuka81</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:43pm<b>cutterteen</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:54am<b>Lorrali</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:13pm<b>Spiral061</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 4:35pm<b>Alyss4981</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 1:46pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:30am<b>ScorpioTheConque</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:54am<b>MiLM</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 2:36pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 9:19am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:51am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 3:31pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 1:34pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 5:23pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:43pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 6:09pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:01pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 6:41am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:50pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:09am<b>Rodville</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:10pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:54pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 3:57am<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:28am<b>kamart</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:51am

amc597's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (2939)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23746) - you deserved it (2012)

On 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm - animals - by pansypup - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (4787)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm - misc - by I love L (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42795) - you deserved it (4126)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40121) - you deserved it (15427)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML


I agree, your life sucks (40539) - you deserved it (7449)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52610) - you deserved it (9483)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50267) - you deserved it (19491)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46217) - you deserved it (29476)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55185) - you deserved it (4831)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49415) - you deserved it (6394)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39186) - you deserved it (4881)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (53083) - you deserved it (12089)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: