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amc597

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amc597

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2742
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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amc597's page activity

Visits<b>kamart</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:51am<b>DasKonigsEnde</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:04pm<b>ThisIsMyUsernam</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 7:28am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 2:51am<b>max367</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:10pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:59am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:46pm<b>xXShadowStormXx</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:10pm<b>jesse5a5hall5</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:42am<b>Kvothee</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 5:12pm<b>steveO95</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 1:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:50pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 8:51pm<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:11am<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:38pm<b>colinabi</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:55am<b>ThatLobster</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:37pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:42pm

Fucked!<b>kamart</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:51am

amc597's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of amc597's badges

amc597's favorite FMLs

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41209) - you deserved it (3978)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38551) - you deserved it (14892)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39447) - you deserved it (7296)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50686) - you deserved it (9215)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48898) - you deserved it (18952)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43583) - you deserved it (27811)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52634) - you deserved it (4624)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47205) - you deserved it (6135)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37415) - you deserved it (4693)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52229) - you deserved it (11853)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

#21065187
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34773) - you deserved it (3859)

On 02/19/2014 at 1:24am - work - by PaneraSucks - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40869) - you deserved it (8900)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)



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