Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 11/15/2015 at 4:27am) | Search for a member
About ambowew : When I grow up, I hope my already masculine voice evolves into the rich baritone one of Severus Snape.
That is all.
Btw, Ima seedy Mexican, hiding in a closet near you.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when I passed a construction site. All of the workers started making a fuss and whistling, etc. Naturally, I got very flustered. I stood still for a second and faced them. One yelled for me to move because I was in the way of a girl at a stop light. FML
Tuesday 24 November 2015