Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ambowew

Search for a member

ambowew

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 August 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4496
  • Number of comments : 418
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ambowew : When I grow up, I hope my already masculine voice evolves into the rich baritone one of Severus Snape.

That is all.

Btw, Ima seedy Mexican, hiding in a closet near you.

ambowew's page activity

Visits<b>douglas423</b> - 14 hours ago<b>chrissapp</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:18am<b>nerdychicreader</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:43pm<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:06pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 8:37pm<b>mathen</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:07am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:11pm<b>ced443</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:00am<b>brittany310</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:13pm<b>lotr4</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:41pm<b>MrKronos</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:14am<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:22pm<b>jfloyd68</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:17am<b>rango23</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:04pm<b>10th_Man</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:20am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:53pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:38am

Liked!<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:06pm

ambowew's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ambowew's badges

ambowew's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33192) - you deserved it (2342)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML

#13539413
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10984) - you deserved it (36746)

On 10/21/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for my boyfriend's 19th birthday, I decided to dress up as a sexy cat girl for him, complete with ears, tail, matching sexy underwear, collar and leash. He wouldn't stop laughing. FML

#13515175
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15838) - you deserved it (34154)

On 10/19/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by failed_catgirl (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

#13462690
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34342) - you deserved it (5266)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

#13462188
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9896) - you deserved it (41028)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21933) - you deserved it (4588)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68837) - you deserved it (7747)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44313) - you deserved it (9758)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32449) - you deserved it (2987)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you deserved it (2454)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML

#13013607
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32540) - you deserved it (4398)

On 09/12/2010 at 1:22am - love - by stood-up (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

#12926382
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32783) - you deserved it (3178)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (20956)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40374) - you deserved it (4403)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12611) - you deserved it (112972)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: