Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About amatoryangel : You know those people that you can call at any hour of the night for help or advice...or just to talk? yeah...I'm one of them.
If you speak another language, ill adore you.
If you can teach me something new, or challenge me, im interested.
I'm very creative.
I crochet; blankets, scarves, hats, gloves, etc.
I love scrapbooking. :)
I'm probably more indecisive than anyone you've ever met.
I absolutely adore the silliest things - bubbles, doodling, crosswords, thunderstorms, randomness, etc.
I can't play sports for my life..but I love watching football, basketball, and hockey.
Winter is by far the best season..I love the cold.
I love coffee, accents, and reading.
I write poems.
I despise ignorance, racism, and fakes.
I don't like sleeping alot because I feel like I'm missing out on something.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML
Friday 19 December 2014