Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alpal264

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

alpal264

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13864
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alpal264 : Im just ur average guy.

alpal264's page activity

Visits<b>HeyHeyFishFillet</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 7:04pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 07/20/2012 at 12:25pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 05/23/2012 at 6:58pm

alpal264's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of alpal264's badges

alpal264's favorite FMLs

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45712) - you deserved it (15216)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43561) - you deserved it (9717)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

#20922441
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43294) - you deserved it (5316)

On 10/16/2013 at 4:22am - work - by Elcam (man) - Belgium

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47638) - you deserved it (3680)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35333) - you deserved it (3073)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44573) - you deserved it (5625)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

#20900504
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40649) - you deserved it (2666)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76010) - you deserved it (4361)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a 'young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans' crackpot. FML

#20896509
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34887) - you deserved it (7458)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:06am - love - by GodSquad (man) - United Kingdom (Blackburn with Darwen)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51812) - you deserved it (6332)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

#20895757
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41321) - you deserved it (5260)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38351) - you deserved it (3056)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

#20889279
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43465) - you deserved it (9992)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: