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alpal264

Offline (the 05/08/2014 at 9:48pm) | Search for a member

alpal264

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 October 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8887
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alpal264 : Im just ur average guy.

alpal264's page activity

Visits<b>HeyHeyFishFillet</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 7:04pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 07/20/2012 at 12:25pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 05/23/2012 at 6:58pm

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alpal264's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59108) - you deserved it (5413)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44053) - you deserved it (3153)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57425) - you deserved it (14317)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

#20821476
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38558) - you deserved it (3922)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by riiiighhhttttt (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

#20819060
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40299) - you deserved it (8813)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56663) - you deserved it (5505)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67236) - you deserved it (5801)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58210) - you deserved it (10371)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53266) - you deserved it (8496)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my 30-year-old husband about why Sesame Street isn't a "soap opera." FML

#20811311
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38571) - you deserved it (4612)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by imagrouch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter's biggest aspiration is to create a time machine for the sole purpose of going to the '70s to see the Ramones in concert. FML

#20810453
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33049) - you deserved it (8343)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

#20809215
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49965) - you deserved it (7411)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:35am - love - by confusedmofo - Indonesia

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

#20803453
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44390) - you deserved it (8808)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42012) - you deserved it (4976)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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