Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alpal264

Online | Search for a member

alpal264

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13861
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alpal264 : Im just ur average guy.

alpal264's page activity

Visits<b>HeyHeyFishFillet</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 7:04pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 07/20/2012 at 12:25pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 05/23/2012 at 6:58pm

alpal264's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of alpal264's badges

alpal264's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

#21168348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45732) - you deserved it (20749)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm - health - by blanknameisblank (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64944) - you deserved it (5712)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47195) - you deserved it (4042)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

#21136526
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42924) - you deserved it (4606)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:46am - work - by Makeitdance - United States (California)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44375) - you deserved it (3601)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML

#21130991
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43521) - you deserved it (7601)

On 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm - misc - by wow. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

#21130965
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43293) - you deserved it (3674)

On 05/04/2014 at 10:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43160) - you deserved it (6164)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47734) - you deserved it (4980)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40729) - you deserved it (3332)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38944) - you deserved it (4267)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

#21128139
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38566) - you deserved it (6857)

On 05/01/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by GAGirl1 (woman) - United States

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45156) - you deserved it (3775)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

#21119972
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39161) - you deserved it (4996)

On 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm - kids - by wah wah "you raised him" (man) - United States (California)

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

#21098658
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36244) - you deserved it (3022)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm - work - by IDIOT (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: