Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alpal264

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

alpal264

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13900
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alpal264 : Im just ur average guy.

alpal264's page activity

Visits<b>HeyHeyFishFillet</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 7:04pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 07/20/2012 at 12:25pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 05/23/2012 at 6:58pm

alpal264's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of alpal264's badges

alpal264's favorite FMLs

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (3338)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

#21349104
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29434) - you deserved it (2202)

On 02/03/2015 at 3:45pm - kids - by burned -

Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML

#21348979
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32263) - you deserved it (4567)

On 02/03/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by wtfdaughter - Brazil (Pernambuco)

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

#21347895
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32464) - you deserved it (2531)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38624) - you deserved it (4159)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (4261)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34379) - you deserved it (3766)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24955) - you deserved it (16091)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

#21334934
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/11/2015 at 3:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

#21331081
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40045) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:27am - misc - by shittysituation - United States (California)

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

#21328260
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (6409)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:25am - misc - by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37599) - you deserved it (3571)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, while shopping, a lady came up to me and asked if she could borrow my baby because, "Y'know, I'm in a hurry and they'll let me checkout first." FML

#21297177
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34775) - you deserved it (2536)

On 11/11/2014 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - France



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: