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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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allysuechad

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allysuechad
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1247
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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allysuechad's favorite FMLs

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

#6497491 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (29770) - you deserved it (1871)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:03pm - health - by IndieRox (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

#6497177 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (16133) - you deserved it (8875)

On 11/28/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by badDriver (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that there is a limit to being thrifty. For example buying a pan from the dollar store is most likely going to cost a lot more than a few dollars. Especially when it melts all over your stove which you now have to replace. FML

#6445048 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (7338) - you deserved it (17680)

On 11/25/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by Drim (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

#6392030 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (8807) - you deserved it (19845)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:21pm - health - by MrZach (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (22529) - you deserved it (1811)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

#6315427 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (7207) - you deserved it (22931)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (1925)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

#6246007 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (18193) - you deserved it (11545)

On 11/10/2009 at 6:05pm - animals - by mhmohyeah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

#6226609 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (9669) - you deserved it (22878)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to meet a potential client at StarBucks all the way across town about designing his website. I was extremely excited because I really need the work. I sat for an hour. Turns out he was across the street, at the other StarBucks. FML

#6185222 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (4144)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:14pm - work - by CoffeeBoy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

#6177854 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (22358) - you deserved it (1400)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left my hammer outside after putting up my 'for sale' sign in front of my house. I realised and went outside to get it. The hammer had been used to smash my car window and steal stuff inside. FML

#6085563 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (19484) - you deserved it (4169)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by dogsickftl - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

#6082159 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (3608) - you deserved it (30718)

On 10/31/2009 at 10:30am - health - by alcoholic (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML

#6073802 (35)

I agree, your life sucks (7716) - you deserved it (18014)

On 10/30/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Missedtheboat (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

#6069368 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (6210) - you deserved it (10893)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by man (man) - United Kingdom (London)