ally_anonymous

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Offline (the 11/06/2014 at 4:10am)

ally_anonymous

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12536
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ally_anonymous : Haaayio.
I'm Alyssa.
I barely use FML anymore..

ally_anonymous's page activity

Visits<b>Phustercluck</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:56pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:16am<b>kdm_km1</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:03am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 3:46pm<b>acg7</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:33am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:04pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:28am<b>utrax</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:35pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:51am<b>krupa1901</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:47pm<b>LaurenLo</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:17am<b>sarah_riz</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:24am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:40am<b>sethe99</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:23pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:41pm<b>thenick_m</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:41pm<b>arigibbs6</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:38pm

Fucked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:55pm

ally_anonymous's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ally_anonymous's badges

ally_anonymous's favorite FMLs

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

by Fire_Crotch / 08/14/2010 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

by thatsucks4u / 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

by FML / 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, while at my friend's house, I noticed her brother had a bit of an accent. I laughingly said "Is it me or does your little brother have an accent?" She stared and replied with "No, he has autism." FML

by kggggg / 08/12/2010 at 7:00am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

by gutsforme / 08/11/2010 at 6:40am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

by Brandon / 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2010 at 9:24am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

by L.Lime05 / 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

by kiki / 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

by Alisha Marie / 08/04/2010 at 12:20am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

by kfoehslfns / 08/01/2010 at 4:45am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML

by ghostyyy / 07/24/2010 at 7:21pm / Love