ally_anonymous

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Offline (the 11/06/2014 at 4:10am)

ally_anonymous

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12283
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ally_anonymous : Haaayio.
I'm Alyssa.
I barely use FML anymore..

ally_anonymous's page activity

Visits<b>Phustercluck</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:56pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:16am<b>kdm_km1</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:03am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 3:46pm<b>acg7</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:33am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:04pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:28am<b>utrax</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:35pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:51am<b>krupa1901</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:47pm<b>LaurenLo</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:17am<b>sarah_riz</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:24am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:40am<b>sethe99</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:23pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:41pm<b>thenick_m</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:41pm<b>arigibbs6</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:38pm

Fucked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:55pm

ally_anonymous's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ally_anonymous's badges

ally_anonymous's favorite FMLs

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 12:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, while working as a hotel guard I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I asked him to move and he ignored me, continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyed and started to yell at him. After a few minutes I realized he was dead. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 11:18pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

by Annonmyus / 12/03/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

by mrdentist / 12/02/2010 at 8:20am / Love

Today, I got an electric razor and a lesson from my dad on how to shave my mustache and chin. I also got my period. FML

by Tasha84 / 11/20/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 2:36am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because 'I look like his hamster when I'm eating sunflower seeds.' FML

by ohman / 10/02/2010 at 2:28am / Singapore / Love

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

by ellinor / 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm / Sweden (Jonkopings Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

by anonymous / 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

by anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

by doesntkissalot / 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Florida) / Love