Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ally_anonymous

Search for a member

ally_anonymous
  • Town/Country : Quebec, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 April 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 7670
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ally_anonymous : Haaayio.
I'm Alyssa.

I bet you like getting checked out from all those fat chicks online. I bet it makes you feel nice




FML is kinda my obsession.
I check it 3,4 times a day. Or more..
Hit me up brah'
I'll get at cha'


|̲̅●̲̅̅=̲̅●̅] ♪♫

ally_anonymous's last visitors

reallynow1910fatimeshalacolton_coltontotallybananasCJWilliams1984bomberos_08soccerforlife_27alllisonnnrarescitzjstnxmybarra6Wolvander88

ally_anonymous's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of ally_anonymous's badges

ally_anonymous's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML

#16040668
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9324) - you deserved it (78685)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:33am - love - by Cuppycake (woman) - Canada

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

#15974313
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (33537)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40582) - you deserved it (5118)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14945395
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15284) - you deserved it (23955)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Liar Liar - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67079) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35287) - you deserved it (5906)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11123) - you deserved it (44596)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14924) - you deserved it (27172)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I cleaned my entire apartment hoping to find the source of the terrible odor I've been smelling for the past week. It's me. FML

#14567308
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6730) - you deserved it (32592)

On 01/13/2011 at 4:12pm - health - by John - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML

#14525789
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31501) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/09/2011 at 9:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

#14463495
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (7173)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

#14393948
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (5171)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

#14377824
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37103) - you deserved it (3758)

On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8828) - you deserved it (39864)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

#14316899
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27450) - you deserved it (7543)

On 12/23/2010 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: