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ally_anonymous

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ally_anonymous

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8328
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ally_anonymous : Haaayio.
I'm Alyssa.
I barely use FML anymore..

ally_anonymous's page activity

Visits<b>arigibbs6</b> - yesterday at 10:38pm<b>utrax</b> - yesterday at 1:05pm<b>Edogg215</b> - yesterday at 5:03am<b>Gr8wise1</b> - yesterday at 1:20am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - yesterday at 12:44am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:56pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:37pm<b>random_dude42</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:17pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:32pm<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:37pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:22pm<b>SoMystic</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:56pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:13am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:43pm<b>kylie128</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 7:35am<b>clapdatassidy</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 11:38pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 8:19pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:05am

ally_anonymous's FML badges

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You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ally_anonymous's badges

ally_anonymous's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (6017)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML

#16040668
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9379) - you deserved it (79106)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:33am - love - by Cuppycake (woman) - Canada

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

#15974313
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13223) - you deserved it (33652)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46349) - you deserved it (6341)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14945395
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15350) - you deserved it (24070)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Liar Liar - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67490) - you deserved it (6339)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35458) - you deserved it (5915)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11872) - you deserved it (46337)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15027) - you deserved it (27336)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I cleaned my entire apartment hoping to find the source of the terrible odor I've been smelling for the past week. It's me. FML

#14567308
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6940) - you deserved it (33330)

On 01/13/2011 at 4:12pm - health - by John - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML

#14525789
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34841) - you deserved it (2596)

On 01/09/2011 at 9:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

#14463495
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (7183)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

#14393948
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31612) - you deserved it (5177)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

#14377824
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37265) - you deserved it (3767)

On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8874) - you deserved it (40061)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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