Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ally_anonymous

Online | Search for a member

ally_anonymous

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8690
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ally_anonymous : Haaayio.
I'm Alyssa.
I barely use FML anymore..

ally_anonymous's page activity

Visits<b>sarah_riz</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:24am<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:59pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:03pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:40am<b>sethe99</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:23pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:41pm<b>thenick_m</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:41pm<b>arigibbs6</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:38pm<b>utrax</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:05pm<b>Gr8wise1</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:20am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:44am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:56pm<b>random_dude42</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:17pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:32pm<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:37pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:22pm<b>SoMystic</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:56pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:13am

ally_anonymous's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ally_anonymous's badges

ally_anonymous's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73620) - you deserved it (7678)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44584) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44584) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43115) - you deserved it (9356)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37487) - you deserved it (16313)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

#16417126
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33210) - you deserved it (26231)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by trev - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13068) - you deserved it (63716)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

#16216405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44329) - you deserved it (7897)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -

Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML

#16213950
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37983) - you deserved it (14713)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm - love - by Fatty (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20228) - you deserved it (60829)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76852) - you deserved it (23593)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (15786)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33046) - you deserved it (14664)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
249 comments

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (7587)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: