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ally_anonymous

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ally_anonymous

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8351
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ally_anonymous : Haaayio.
I'm Alyssa.
I barely use FML anymore..

ally_anonymous's page activity

Visits<b>arigibbs6</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:38pm<b>utrax</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:05pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:03am<b>Gr8wise1</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:20am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:44am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:56pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:37pm<b>random_dude42</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:17pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:32pm<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:37pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:22pm<b>SoMystic</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:56pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:13am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:43pm<b>kylie128</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 7:35am<b>clapdatassidy</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 11:38pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 8:19pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:05am

ally_anonymous's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ally_anonymous's badges

ally_anonymous's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19850) - you deserved it (39108)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48399) - you deserved it (7714)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML

#18472242
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31278) - you deserved it (8089)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41721) - you deserved it (10828)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43117) - you deserved it (3232)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

#18178318
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (1981)

On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML

#18177670
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29147) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30776) - you deserved it (4168)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (2968)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
470 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57505) - you deserved it (7112)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41280) - you deserved it (2854)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

#17452928
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (39217) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42682) - you deserved it (6313)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36847) - you deserved it (5546)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62055) - you deserved it (7303)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States



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