ally_anonymous

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Offline (the 11/06/2014 at 4:10am)

ally_anonymous

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12771
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ally_anonymous : Haaayio.
I'm Alyssa.
I barely use FML anymore..

ally_anonymous's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 7:14pm<b>Phustercluck</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:56pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:16am<b>kdm_km1</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:03am<b>acg7</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:33am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:04pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:28am<b>utrax</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:35pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:51am<b>krupa1901</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:47pm<b>LaurenLo</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:17am<b>sarah_riz</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:24am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:40am<b>sethe99</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:23pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:41pm<b>thenick_m</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:41pm<b>arigibbs6</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:38pm

ally_anonymous's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ally_anonymous's badges

ally_anonymous's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 12:23am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

by hurtsmyears / 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2011 at 7:26pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

by macattack / 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

by Username / 08/21/2011 at 5:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

by leftwardfoil / 08/19/2011 at 2:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm / France / Love

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy