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ally_anonymous

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ally_anonymous

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8353
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ally_anonymous : Haaayio.
I'm Alyssa.
I barely use FML anymore..

ally_anonymous's page activity

Visits<b>arigibbs6</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:38pm<b>utrax</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:05pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:03am<b>Gr8wise1</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:20am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:44am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:56pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:37pm<b>random_dude42</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:17pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:32pm<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:37pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:22pm<b>SoMystic</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:56pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:13am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:43pm<b>kylie128</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 7:35am<b>clapdatassidy</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 11:38pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 8:19pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:05am

ally_anonymous's FML badges

Profile completed

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ally_anonymous's badges

ally_anonymous's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

#20696470
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45265) - you deserved it (6751)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63471) - you deserved it (13976)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12677) - you deserved it (41775)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42579) - you deserved it (2705)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24329) - you deserved it (2141)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26602) - you deserved it (6276)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML

#20180680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19388) - you deserved it (7976)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74698) - you deserved it (8757)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (4902)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (2309)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35632) - you deserved it (10392) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11357) - you deserved it (151167)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29599) - you deserved it (16348)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (4403)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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