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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ally_anonymous

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ally_anonymous
  • Town/Country : Quebec, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 April 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 4256
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About ally_anonymous : Haaayio.
I'm Alyssa.
I'm the one with the brown hair && the chicka beside me is my twinny!




FML is kinda my obsession.
I check it 3,4 times a day.


|̲̅●̲̅̅=̲̅●̅] ♪♫

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ally_anonymous's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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ally_anonymous's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML

#18982251 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (8395) - you deserved it (1061)

On 02/03/2012 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML

#18876628 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (7970) - you deserved it (1841)

On 01/22/2012 at 1:10am - health - by suckstobefat - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (4751) - you deserved it (8077)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (13955) - you deserved it (1777)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML

#18472242 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (21412) - you deserved it (5175)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (12128) - you deserved it (2628)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (33278) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

#18178318 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (20691) - you deserved it (1243)

On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML

#18177670 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (1206)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (1240)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (10470) - you deserved it (946)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285 (527)

I agree, your life sucks (44904) - you deserved it (4582)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (32567) - you deserved it (1896)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

#17452928 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (9761) - you deserved it (11114) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (32498) - you deserved it (4293)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)