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allisawk

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allisawk
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4396
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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allisawk's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100453) - you deserved it (4281)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML

#2720820
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46165) - you deserved it (3974)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Marie (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

#2492711
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61547) - you deserved it (4471)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (73241)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML

#2393503
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40560) - you deserved it (3477)

On 05/28/2009 at 11:51pm - work - by be_nj (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was desperate for a pee so I used some public toilets which were full of obviously underage girls drinking. I didn't think anything of it until halfway through my business when I looked up to see two of them leaning over the top of the stall taking pictures with a mobile phone. FML

#2139202
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47064) - you deserved it (3370)

On 05/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by PublicToiletEspionage (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML

#934076
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124821) - you deserved it (9149)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53507) - you deserved it (8645)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329324) - you deserved it (35705)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25260) - you deserved it (2241)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my "best friends" have gone on a crazy weekend and they didn't invite me. FML

#240
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31261) - you deserved it (3896)

On 11/07/2008 at 2:14am - misc - by z - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266625) - you deserved it (23311)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -

Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML

#7
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59452) - you deserved it (15595)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - misc - by Cyberdeeder -



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