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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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allisawk

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allisawk
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4111
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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allisawk's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282 (312)

I agree, your life sucks (86633) - you deserved it (3069)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML

#2720820 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (40582) - you deserved it (2941)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Marie (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

#2492711 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (55478) - you deserved it (3409)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML

#2459150 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (16511) - you deserved it (55082)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML

#2393503 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (35289) - you deserved it (2611)

On 05/28/2009 at 11:51pm - work - by be_nj (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was desperate for a pee so I used some public toilets which were full of obviously underage girls drinking. I didn't think anything of it until halfway through my business when I looked up to see two of them leaning over the top of the stall taking pictures with a mobile phone. FML

#2139202 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (44203) - you deserved it (2686)

On 05/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by PublicToiletEspionage (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML

#934076 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (98972) - you deserved it (6374)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (47645) - you deserved it (6889)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (851)

I agree, your life sucks (233298) - you deserved it (20083)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (19899) - you deserved it (1551)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my "best friends" have gone on a crazy weekend and they didn't invite me. FML

#240 (35)

I agree, your life sucks (23970) - you deserved it (2667)

On 11/07/2008 at 2:14am - misc - by z - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML

#8 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (175074) - you deserved it (14692)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi-online -

Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML

#7 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (51639) - you deserved it (14267)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - misc - by Cyberdeeder -



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