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Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7692) - you deserved it (23868)
On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6182) - you deserved it (27215)
On 07/25/2010 at 1:06am - health - by one_BAMF - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28791) - you deserved it (8538)
On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States
Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20707) - you deserved it (9257)
On 05/28/2010 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13906) - you deserved it (18552)
On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (2793)
On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5150) - you deserved it (17452)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5150) - you deserved it (17452)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17048) - you deserved it (3007)
On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28621) - you deserved it (4468)
On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23036) - you deserved it (3235)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6024) - you deserved it (43495)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11483) - you deserved it (15073)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23487) - you deserved it (6310)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7257) - you deserved it (36863)
On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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