allie2590

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allie2590

29Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39811
  • Number of comments : 592
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>Mike3258</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 5:25am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Elielili</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 6:44pm<b>ShiaSurprise</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 5:09pm<b>draftskink</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 1:49pm<b>hippokrates</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 3:45am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 10:34pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 10/29/2016 at 6:57am<b>lukian</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 4:02am<b>Oihana</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 12:21pm<b>rengoonhoo</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 5:09pm<b>avizmeg</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 10:09pm<b>bahamit</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 4:52pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 4:01pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 9:33am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 1:39am<b>NewYorkGuy69</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 12:20pm<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 9:11am

Fucked!<b>Elielili</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 12:44am<b>lukian</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 10:02am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 5:08am<b>Cipher_585</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:46pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:34am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 7:12pm<b>UserDoesExist</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:45am<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 10:07pm<b>TrippyEyes</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:54am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:27am<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:36am<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:54am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm

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allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

by my gran is a cuntwaffle / 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

by mandm / 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2013 at 1:18am / United States / Kids

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

by Baustigt / 08/22/2013 at 10:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

by Baustigt / 08/22/2013 at 10:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Health

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

by ass slap / 08/11/2013 at 11:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Ohio) / Kids