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allie2590

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allie2590

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 32519
  • Number of comments : 518
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - yesterday at 1:23pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:07am<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:56am<b>grunt2423</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:29pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:29pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:41am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:02am<b>taylorpric3</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:21am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:49pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:47am<b>noah_1234</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:52pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:14pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:02pm<b>Han1156</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:23pm<b>Helvanica</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:10pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:38pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:34am<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:20am

Liked!<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

#20092439
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15258) - you deserved it (9586)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44554) - you deserved it (3887)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17004) - you deserved it (67974)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

#20061073
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18661) - you deserved it (2125)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

#20056763
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8423) - you deserved it (51210)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (10245)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31089) - you deserved it (8573)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (2362)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

#19979543
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19201) - you deserved it (7131)

On 07/23/2012 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML

#19943603
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (2450)

On 07/16/2012 at 12:08am - work - by crazyautio - United States

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

#19871781
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6547) - you deserved it (20725)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by rs (woman) - Egypt

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20487) - you deserved it (2240)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28091) - you deserved it (3063)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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