About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!
allie2590's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
allie2590's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
by ass slap / 08/11/2013 at 11:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML
by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by DreamStatic / 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by mishyb / 07/28/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work
Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Kat_Styles / 07/19/2013 at 4:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Dingbat / 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous