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Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31101) - you deserved it (4890)
On 06/23/2011 at 12:24am - love - by wowohwow - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10318) - you deserved it (52648)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
I agree, your life sucks (34555) - you deserved it (6594)
On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7799) - you deserved it (19541)
On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -
Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19378) - you deserved it (3390)
On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10388) - you deserved it (35414)
On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41980) - you deserved it (3418)
On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (2131)
On 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by peedonme (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was working on my art portfolio. I had drawn a self-portrait. When I was satisfied, I wanted to show my parents. They thought it was a drawing of a bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (4186)
On 02/08/2011 at 7:30pm - misc - by nomoreart (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9272) - you deserved it (31208)
On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (3577)
On 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (2307)
On 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (9805)
On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19666) - you deserved it (7697)
On 12/10/2010 at 2:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21450) - you deserved it (2945)
On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 17 June 2013
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