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allie2590

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allie2590

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35874
  • Number of comments : 531
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:58am<b>Jay0501</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:58pm<b>anonymous_guy32</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:28am<b>crazzzy_man1</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 5:44pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 2:48pm<b>iluvmonkeys</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:47pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:33pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:11pm<b>samthestud13</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:19pm<b>katrynaalyse</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:03pm<b>ofeofe</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:04pm<b>zieelona</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:17am<b>itzypedia</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:48am<b>horseh</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:00pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 7:33pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:16pm

Fucked!<b>FRAGILE</b> - yesterday at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

#20724193
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45195) - you deserved it (6345)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60526) - you deserved it (5445)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49603) - you deserved it (3299)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30893) - you deserved it (65833)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44831) - you deserved it (7207)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30420) - you deserved it (54708)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23085) - you deserved it (47806)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51318) - you deserved it (4443)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57021) - you deserved it (12776)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

#20588155
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28127) - you deserved it (45028)

On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60885) - you deserved it (20304)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40209) - you deserved it (6844)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31448) - you deserved it (5911)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (62121)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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