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Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5308) - you deserved it (43200)
On 08/05/2011 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (2098)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (2760)
On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8020) - you deserved it (52672)
On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (6252)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10274) - you deserved it (38867)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26181) - you deserved it (2052)
On 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (2304)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (2304)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51990) - you deserved it (5654)
On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30087) - you deserved it (4067)
On 06/23/2011 at 12:24am - love - by wowohwow - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9855) - you deserved it (43831)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (6588)
On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7783) - you deserved it (19494)
On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -
Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18624) - you deserved it (2899)
On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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