allie2590

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allie2590

23Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 38471
  • Number of comments : 561
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>vaxc</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 8:25pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:44pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:00am<b>Lauren_percival</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 4:36pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 3:48pm<b>Cbnotme</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 3:07pm<b>UserDoesExist</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 12:45am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 6:11pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 3:15pm<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 4:07pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 3:48pm<b>Vkfan</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 6:14pm<b>TrippyEyes</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 12:53am<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 3:26am<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 8:24pm<b>IcemistDragon</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 4:43pm<b>mergeterge</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 2:55am<b>Parkourlife20</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 10:20pm

Fucked!<b>UserDoesExist</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:45am<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 10:07pm<b>TrippyEyes</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:54am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:27am<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:36am<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:54am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am

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allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

by SmittyJA24 / 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

by wondercat40 / 04/24/2014 at 5:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm / Norway (Nordland) / Work

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

by AshleyP / 04/04/2014 at 10:17am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health