allie2590

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allie2590

23Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 38527
  • Number of comments : 562
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>plsdonthateme</b> - 12 hours ago<b>vaxc</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 8:25pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:44pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:00am<b>Lauren_percival</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 4:36pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 3:48pm<b>Cbnotme</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 3:07pm<b>UserDoesExist</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 12:45am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 6:11pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 3:15pm<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 4:07pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 3:48pm<b>Vkfan</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 6:14pm<b>TrippyEyes</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 12:53am<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 3:26am<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 8:24pm<b>IcemistDragon</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 4:43pm<b>mergeterge</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 2:55am

Fucked!<b>UserDoesExist</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:45am<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 10:07pm<b>TrippyEyes</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:54am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:27am<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:36am<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:54am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am

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allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

by Bald / 10/21/2014 at 11:41am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Kids

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

by clumsylobster / 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

by ihatejasonderulo / 09/02/2014 at 11:32am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Intimacy

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:36pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

by teegtwo / 07/22/2014 at 1:55am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

by get a grip, son / 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

by Ace / 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

by sothishappened / 05/20/2014 at 5:54am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous