Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

allie2590

Online | Search for a member

allie2590

9Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34908
  • Number of comments : 529
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>YourOpinionSucks</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:46pm<b>danthehuman</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:29pm<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 4:23am<b>Furby94</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 4:13pm<b>iTzBoyWonder</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:37pm<b>falsecut</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:29am<b>joliexoxo</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 4:14pm<b>TheKasox</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 2:01pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:23pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:32pm<b>reillyg11</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:19pm<b>lizardFace</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:44pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:23pm<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:19pm<b>makkarari</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:27am<b>pman590</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 7:00am<b>Bman54</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:59am<b>RainbowRoos</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:52am

Liked!<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31149) - you deserved it (14768)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45945) - you deserved it (4838)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43135) - you deserved it (5846)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, I took my 13 year old fishing off the pier for dogfish. The only thing he caught was a piece of my ear. FML

#20952293
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38725) - you deserved it (3951)

On 11/10/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38713) - you deserved it (4133)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

#20929195
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49164) - you deserved it (8412)

On 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

#20897003
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43249) - you deserved it (5866)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by my gran is a cuntwaffle (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34151) - you deserved it (4304)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40875) - you deserved it (6407)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57392) - you deserved it (9338)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33049) - you deserved it (10373)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40227) - you deserved it (6622)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43181) - you deserved it (7349)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38859) - you deserved it (13142)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: