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allie2590

Offline (the 06/19/2014 at 10:46am) | Search for a member

allie2590

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 31490
  • Number of comments : 489
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:27pm<b>piwko_person</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:43am<b>WildHorses1987</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:52pm<b>Deezknutz</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:39pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:55pm<b>gingalife8991</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:27am<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Chimera0</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:14am<b>TechnoStew</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:52am<b>Aurelian</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:53am<b>krayzie2392</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:02pm<b>Da_Fresh_Prince</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:46pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 11:23pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:29am<b>Tomgirl_Julie</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:51pm<b>liammcgurl</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:34am<b>thisguyintheusa</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 12:10am<b>bitchimabunnyz33</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:26am

allie2590's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47492) - you deserved it (3150)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30747) - you deserved it (65435)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42882) - you deserved it (6973)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (53327)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56690) - you deserved it (12712)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

#20588155
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (44211)

On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60478) - you deserved it (20217)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30820) - you deserved it (5836)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20428) - you deserved it (59796)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36950) - you deserved it (12397)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML

#20515797
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10707) - you deserved it (36910)

On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12840) - you deserved it (40355)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24129) - you deserved it (4757)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)



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