About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!
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allie2590's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by stitchesgirl12 / 04/07/2015 at 12:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/04/2015 at 8:53am / United States / Love
Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML
by King.Dick. / 04/02/2015 at 10:21am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by zetuga / 04/01/2015 at 3:40am / United Kingdom (Luton) / Intimacy
Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML
by lucasbeck99 / 03/31/2015 at 5:35am / United States (Texas) / Love
by uhoh.. / 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by parkoursam / 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 4:04am / Australia / Health
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm / Miscellaneous
Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML
by TheKingKen / 02/13/2015 at 3:40am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 9:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by FuckfaceSteve / 02/01/2015 at 9:59am / United Kingdom (Durham) / Love
by WalkTheOtherWay / 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Love