About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!
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allie2590's favorite FMLs
Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML
by notgay / 06/21/2015 at 2:04am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML
by VeganVampyre / 05/23/2015 at 1:07pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Animals
by brittrus / 05/08/2015 at 9:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by why? / 05/01/2015 at 9:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
by bleue / 04/23/2015 at 8:27am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by stitchesgirl12 / 04/07/2015 at 12:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/04/2015 at 8:53am / United States / Love
Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML
by King.Dick. / 04/02/2015 at 10:21am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by zetuga / 04/01/2015 at 3:40am / United Kingdom (Luton) / Intimacy
Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML
by lucasbeck99 / 03/31/2015 at 5:35am / United States (Texas) / Love
by uhoh.. / 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…