About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!
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allie2590's favorite FMLs
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 1:18am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 10:06am / United States / Intimacy
by AK-47 / 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML
by wantmeasandwich / 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML
by notgay / 06/21/2015 at 2:04am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML
by VeganVampyre / 05/23/2015 at 1:07pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Animals
by brittrus / 05/08/2015 at 9:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by why? / 05/01/2015 at 9:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
by bleue / 04/23/2015 at 8:27am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by stitchesgirl12 / 04/07/2015 at 12:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/04/2015 at 8:53am / United States / Love
- Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend… Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing… Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly…