Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

allie2590

Offline (11 minutes ago) | Search for a member

allie2590

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 33428
  • Number of comments : 524
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Saone</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:50pm<b>rozline96</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:23am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:39pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:27am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:00am<b>tony1891</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:52pm<b>Bman54</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:42am<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 8:08am<b>whitelightning19</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:41pm<b>slingerslasher</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:47am<b>llamarrama01</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:44am<b>faggotron123</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:51am<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 12:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:06pm<b>Marcelb</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:48pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Decepticus</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:42pm

Liked!<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (5894)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

#15431141
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12971) - you deserved it (47501)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36482) - you deserved it (5578)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48190) - you deserved it (4317)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

#15068596
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (2546)

On 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by peedonme (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was working on my art portfolio. I had drawn a self-portrait. When I was satisfied, I wanted to show my parents. They thought it was a drawing of a bear. FML

#14899477
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (4718)

On 02/08/2011 at 7:30pm - misc - by nomoreart (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

#14797258
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8356) - you deserved it (62138)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12128) - you deserved it (41956)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12128) - you deserved it (41956)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

#14626510
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31896) - you deserved it (4682)

On 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14417) - you deserved it (36839) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40818) - you deserved it (26854) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

#14589088
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29227) - you deserved it (3101)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

#14445248
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28932) - you deserved it (3424)

On 01/02/2011 at 11:14pm - misc - by Kristin (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (12354)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: