Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

allie2590

Offline (the 06/19/2014 at 10:46am) | Search for a member

allie2590

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 31449
  • Number of comments : 489
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>Deezknutz</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:39pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:55pm<b>gingalife8991</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:27am<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Chimera0</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:14am<b>TechnoStew</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:52am<b>Aurelian</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:53am<b>krayzie2392</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:02pm<b>Da_Fresh_Prince</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:46pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 11:23pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:29am<b>Tomgirl_Julie</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:51pm<b>liammcgurl</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:34am<b>thisguyintheusa</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 12:10am<b>bitchimabunnyz33</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:26am<b>CurvyisCool</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:20am<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:02pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 5:47pm

allie2590's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (3994)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8080) - you deserved it (56894)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32569) - you deserved it (3288)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31488) - you deserved it (22707)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15411) - you deserved it (21196)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML

#6487982
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (3419)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Orangehead (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (7832)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9442) - you deserved it (48585)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a friend and I attempted to jump the 7-foot high fence around his gated community because he'd left his keys. He made it. I didn’t. My shorts caught on the top of the fence, so I was forced to dangle there on a busy street until my Dad came and helped. But only after taking a picture. FML

#6351238
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8671) - you deserved it (29568)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by ohjoy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (5891)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

#6191720
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10464) - you deserved it (29018)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML

#6095339
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31837) - you deserved it (3417)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (3250)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52850) - you deserved it (26828)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47583) - you deserved it (3863)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: