allie2590

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allie2590

23Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 38755
  • Number of comments : 576
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>FML_SideWays69</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 2:09am<b>Blee864</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 1:48pm<b>rydersmomma16</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 1:45am<b>uasb97</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 6:58pm<b>NickTheBleak</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 5:15pm<b>mrskoneko</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 11:17pm<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 7:43pm<b>EnderHorse</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 8:10am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 2:25am<b>frostedfoster</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 5:08am<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 12:26am<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 2:21am<b>trucker2</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 6:16pm<b>heatherrr17</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 1:38am<b>meltingturtle</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 2:23am<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 12:56pm<b>Kroxigorman</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 8:53am<b>tipperO1</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 3:51pm

Fucked!<b>UserDoesExist</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:45am<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 10:07pm<b>TrippyEyes</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:54am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:27am<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:36am<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:54am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am

allie2590's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

by awks / 10/01/2012 at 8:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

by killmenow / 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

by Chouse / 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

by Cherrish it / 09/04/2012 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 7:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous