Search for a member




  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39529
  • Number of comments : 588
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>rengoonhoo</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 5:09pm<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 11:07pm<b>avizmeg</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 10:09pm<b>lukian</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 8:24pm<b>bahamit</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 4:52pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 4:01pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 9:33am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 1:39am<b>NewYorkGuy69</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 12:20pm<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 9:11am<b>Cipher_585</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 8:46am<b>xBlueXXFirex935</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 10:26pm<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 12:48pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 9:11pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 10:02pm<b>oneinone</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 9:56am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 11:13pm<b>JD2Chameleons</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 10:36pm

Fucked!<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 5:08am<b>Cipher_585</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:46pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:34am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 7:12pm<b>UserDoesExist</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:45am<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 10:07pm<b>TrippyEyes</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:54am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:27am<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:36am<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:54am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am

allie2590's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

by IndianAngel96 / 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

by friedbutter / 10/28/2012 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

by Marie / 10/17/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

by awks / 10/01/2012 at 8:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

by killmenow / 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

by Chouse / 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids