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allie2590

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allie2590

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34011
  • Number of comments : 528
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

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allie2590's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21639) - you deserved it (9662)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20939) - you deserved it (6180)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

#18806135
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34290) - you deserved it (9759)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (40485)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33785) - you deserved it (5332)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14833) - you deserved it (37333)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

#18570101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (2838)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:10pm - work - by bosslady12 - United States

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (18632)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9928) - you deserved it (67392)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML

#18390647
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12257) - you deserved it (24645)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:23am - work - by TheCrossingChick (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29499) - you deserved it (8739)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (2085)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (15460)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

#18083556
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18408) - you deserved it (12469)

On 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm - misc - by krystal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (16819) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France



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