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allie2590

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allie2590

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35592
  • Number of comments : 531
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>iluvmonkeys</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:47pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:33pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:11pm<b>samthestud13</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:19pm<b>katrynaalyse</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:03pm<b>ofeofe</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:04pm<b>zieelona</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:17am<b>itzypedia</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:48am<b>horseh</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:00pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 7:33pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:16pm<b>abNormal62</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 11:58am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 3:43am<b>potatosex5</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:11am<b>anonymous_guy32</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Totalninja301</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 2:06pm

Fucked!<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30330) - you deserved it (3269)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30330) - you deserved it (3269)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7873) - you deserved it (24139)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (2900)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12883) - you deserved it (26684)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21712) - you deserved it (9038)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30691) - you deserved it (4591)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15104) - you deserved it (28568)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (4579)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

#19615713
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29779) - you deserved it (2860)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20622) - you deserved it (4092)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

#19581531
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22176) - you deserved it (4318)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (3706)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (3706)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML



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