Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 11:01am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 37138
  • Number of comments : 534
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>liv1222</b> - 20 hours ago<b>holymacabre</b> - yesterday at 10:17am<b>wil1029</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:00am<b>RobertTheSPOOK</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 8:14pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 11:56pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Jayjaybrews</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:25pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 9:45am<b>conman317</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:04am<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:29pm<b>PunkPrincess</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 10:44pm<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 12:13pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 10:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 10:18am<b>britbear0731</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:41pm<b>helllno</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 6:03am

Fucked!<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30796) - you deserved it (4094)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26441) - you deserved it (4639)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30472) - you deserved it (4339)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML


I agree, your life sucks (31885) - you deserved it (3102)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31152) - you deserved it (6032)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (4511) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (7385)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML


Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (4023)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26341) - you deserved it (5027)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31243) - you deserved it (3627)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27508) - you deserved it (2834)

On 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm - health - by uhoh.. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: