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allie2590

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

allie2590

14Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 36479
  • Number of comments : 533
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>max_432</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Noremac42</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:35am<b>knskzebeast</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:56am<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:27am<b>ariasmake1</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:49am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:41pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:00am<b>Greg_DGZ</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:39am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 12:40pm<b>ReallyHottChic</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 5:18pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:16am<b>olpally</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:12am<b>mccrightp</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:03pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:53pm<b>bosco556</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:59pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:58am<b>Jay0501</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:58pm

Fucked!<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29297) - you deserved it (3195)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

#21379555
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26659) - you deserved it (2753)

On 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm - health - by uhoh.. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36344) - you deserved it (2420)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34621) - you deserved it (2009)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

#21351411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (5949)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML

#21347694
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31265) - you deserved it (4012)

On 02/01/2015 at 9:59am - love - by FuckfaceSteve (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (6562)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (2998)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31445) - you deserved it (4433)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36929) - you deserved it (8231)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34179) - you deserved it (3720)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

#21320377
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (3602)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31845) - you deserved it (2849)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States



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