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allie2590

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allie2590

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35881
  • Number of comments : 531
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:58am<b>Jay0501</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:58pm<b>anonymous_guy32</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:28am<b>crazzzy_man1</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 5:44pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 2:48pm<b>iluvmonkeys</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:47pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:33pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:11pm<b>samthestud13</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:19pm<b>katrynaalyse</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:03pm<b>ofeofe</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:04pm<b>zieelona</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:17am<b>itzypedia</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:48am<b>horseh</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:00pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 7:33pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:16pm

Fucked!<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

#21351411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27359) - you deserved it (5944)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML

#21347694
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31204) - you deserved it (4008)

On 02/01/2015 at 9:59am - love - by FuckfaceSteve (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27090) - you deserved it (6555)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27744) - you deserved it (2894)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31406) - you deserved it (4428)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34459) - you deserved it (6824)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34120) - you deserved it (3713)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

#21320377
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28910) - you deserved it (3576)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (2849)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31746) - you deserved it (3674)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32114) - you deserved it (4048)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30883) - you deserved it (6304)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28805) - you deserved it (3451)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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