allie2590

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allie2590

29Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39833
  • Number of comments : 592
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>Mike3258</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 5:25am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Elielili</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 6:44pm<b>ShiaSurprise</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 5:09pm<b>draftskink</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 1:49pm<b>hippokrates</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 3:45am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 10:34pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 10/29/2016 at 6:57am<b>lukian</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 4:02am<b>Oihana</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 12:21pm<b>rengoonhoo</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 5:09pm<b>avizmeg</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 10:09pm<b>bahamit</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 4:52pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 4:01pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 9:33am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 1:39am<b>NewYorkGuy69</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 12:20pm<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 9:11am

Fucked!<b>Elielili</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 12:44am<b>lukian</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 10:02am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 5:08am<b>Cipher_585</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:46pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:34am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 7:12pm<b>UserDoesExist</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:45am<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 10:07pm<b>TrippyEyes</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:54am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:27am<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:36am<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:54am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm

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allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, at school, we were supposed to say something that we are thankful for. When I was about to speak, one of the girls at my table said, "It's okay, you can say PornHub." FML

by Bonngoo / 11/17/2016 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to a bathroom on campus before class when my professor walked in behind me. There were two urinals in the bathroom, we walked right up next to each other and unzipped our pants in unison. It became so awkward for me, I actually said out loud, "Nope, too awkward" and left. FML

by beetregeneration / 11/16/2016 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I complimented a guy on his Van Gogh costume. As it turns out, he had an infection in his ear. FML

by I'm an asshole / 11/03/2016 at 5:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

by Loud / 09/08/2016 at 2:07am / Australia / Work

Today, it was my first day at my new job as a receptionist at a small doctor's office. When the doctor's wife called and asked if he'd stepped out, I forgot the word "Doctor" and instead replaced it with, "medicine man". FML

by professionalmedicineman / 08/11/2016 at 3:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my untrained legs have been traumatised by the sudden regime of squats, mountain climbers and lunges I have been putting them through. I literally just have to trust-fall back onto the toilet and hope for the best, because my legs don't have the strength to support the gradual descent. FML

by SkipLegDay / 08/03/2016 at 4:48am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Health

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

by Mj / 07/19/2016 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML

by toto13660 / 06/29/2016 at 4:10pm / Animals

Today, my little sister decided to move one of the mouse traps I set for our current mouse problem onto my desk chair. Apparently when a mouse is caught in a mousetrap it's cruel, but when it snaps on my balls, that's hilarious. FML

by Ow / 06/18/2016 at 8:51pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

by tracy4191 / 06/13/2016 at 11:27am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was swimming in a public pool, and I felt a tug on my swimming trunks. It was my grandma snorkeling. FML

Today, my mom called me in a panic because someone had hacked my phone and was sending her evil faces. They were emojis I'd accidentally butt-dialed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 9:07pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, nearing the end of my pregnancy, I went to a local pool. While attempting to swim on my stomach, I turned a little to the left, and buoyancy took over and I ended up belly-up and flailing, causing a very large man to then laugh so hard, he choked. FML

by ciammmm / 04/07/2016 at 8:23pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids