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allie2590

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allie2590

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 32589
  • Number of comments : 520
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>relaxedninja</b> - yesterday at 7:39am<b>coltonte3</b> - yesterday at 3:35am<b>razoray9</b> - yesterday at 1:38am<b>neeni88</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:23am<b>cookie_pie99</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 1:18am<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:40pm<b>wysteria14</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:39am<b>olpally</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:23pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:07am<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:56am<b>grunt2423</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:29pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:29pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:41am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:02am<b>taylorpric3</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:21am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:49pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:47am<b>noah_1234</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:52pm

Liked!<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

#21282364
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26916) - you deserved it (2603)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:41am - kids - by Bald (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (3398)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42951) - you deserved it (2945)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38049) - you deserved it (9773)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32917) - you deserved it (7617)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42386) - you deserved it (13754)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47739) - you deserved it (3710)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML

#21228437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35377) - you deserved it (3733)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36614) - you deserved it (23750)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

#21157319
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41428) - you deserved it (9635)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm - kids - by get a grip, son (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

#21147533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40540) - you deserved it (8268)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Ace - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41033) - you deserved it (8064)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

#21145745
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43843) - you deserved it (4306)

On 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by SmittyJA24 - United States (Idaho)



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