allie2590

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allie2590

20Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 38279
  • Number of comments : 550
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>_Adog2645</b> - 5 hours ago<b>mergeterge</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Parkourlife20</b> - 17 hours ago<b>iMuffinKat</b> - yesterday at 12:30am<b>JD2Chameleons</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:38pm<b>slappygecko</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 1:30pm<b>nena_kievu</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 5:59pm<b>christophbak</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:36pm<b>claudiajean</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 8:27pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:53am<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:41am<b>rustycage92</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:33am<b>fastman19</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 8:14am<b>GodPart2</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 8:03am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:44pm<b>gigiskye</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 6:09pm<b>tfwyesgf_neverha</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 1:15am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 7:26pm

Fucked!<b>claudiajean</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:27am<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:36am<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:54am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm

allie2590's FML badges

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allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom called me in a panic because someone had hacked my phone and was sending her evil faces. They were emojis I'd accidentally butt-dialed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 9:07pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, nearing the end of my pregnancy, I went to a local pool. While attempting to swim on my stomach, I turned a little to the left, and buoyancy took over and I ended up belly-up and flailing, causing a very large man to then laugh so hard, he choked. FML

by ciammmm / 04/07/2016 at 8:23pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my mother-in-law told me that God won't allow me to have a baby with my husband because we're both agnostic. Yet it seems God thinks her druggie daughter can have two just because she's a Christian. FML

by Tiny_Nerd / 03/08/2016 at 10:00am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend woke up, and half-asleep, muttered: "What time is it? Did the neighbours start drilling again?" I'll try harder to keep my farts in from now on. FML

by Juju Bear / 03/08/2016 at 6:54am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2016 at 6:06am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2016 at 12:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the tram with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML

by DieuEstUnHomme / 02/03/2016 at 10:44am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Transportation

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

by whattheactualfuck / 01/22/2016 at 7:50am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML

by friendless1004 / 11/12/2015 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a student set me on fire while I was lecturing my class about proper lab safety. FML

by burnbabyburn / 11/11/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, on my way back to work after lunch, my airbags deployed at a stop sign. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 5:50pm / United States / Work