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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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allie2590

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allie2590
  • Town/Country : St. Catharines, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 February 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 28197
  • Number of comments : 272
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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allie2590's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

#19064415 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (1369) - you deserved it (7596)

On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (6697) - you deserved it (2175) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (8337) - you deserved it (1550)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (1453)

On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (7087) - you deserved it (1519)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (5540) - you deserved it (2740)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

#17598415 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (1830)

On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

#17555349 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (1637)

On 08/23/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by kykynevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

#16950296 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you deserved it (1602)

On 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (10923) - you deserved it (920)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334 (305)

I agree, your life sucks (9222) - you deserved it (41277)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (19206) - you deserved it (2408)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML

#12949707 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (2165)

On 09/07/2010 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (5892)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (6497) - you deserved it (34030)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)