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allard

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allard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2645
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About allard : I've always wanted someone to include me in their Bio's like people do with Perdix and Docbastard.

Anyway, I'm Chris.
That's about it. :3.

May the force be with you, and the odds, ever in your favor.

allard's page activity

Visits<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:11am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:30am<b>battlehamster</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:39am<b>BookNerd_123</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 6:11pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:25pm<b>DreamBigDollFace</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:21am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:29am<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 9:43pm<b>toxic_walrus</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 8:37pm<b>RicoDay</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:35pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 4:42pm<b>anon90142</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:12pm<b>secondgradesucks</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 9:16am<b>bsav2748</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:05am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 12:30am<b>Terzy</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 12:58am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:22pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 7:47pm

allard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of allard's badges

allard's favorite FMLs

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (3029)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

#17271800
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28803) - you deserved it (11004)

On 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by anon - Israel

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year old girl in the face. FML

#17271293
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23394) - you deserved it (4780)

On 07/26/2011 at 7:19pm - kids - by slappedright (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

#17063705
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27073) - you deserved it (10657)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33250) - you deserved it (3455)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32420) - you deserved it (6642)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

#16600238
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (7020)

On 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the lease on my house ended and I finished moving in with my girlfriend. After everything was moved in, she broke up with me. Hello homelessness. FML

#15997436
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35516) - you deserved it (3549)

On 04/30/2011 at 11:16pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13065) - you deserved it (67285)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46717) - you deserved it (13526)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML

#14987191
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26670) - you deserved it (4382)

On 02/15/2011 at 5:21am - misc - by nakcba -

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

#7022853
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33296) - you deserved it (3128)

On 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by sickofsick - United States



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