About Allard
I've always wanted someone to include me in their Bio's like people do with Perdix and Docbastard. Anyway, I'm Chris. That's about it. :3. May the force be with you, and the odds, ever in your favor.
Allard - Followers
Allard - Followed
Allard's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    2%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    5%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    65%
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
    0%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    2%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    1%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    6%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    4%
The list of badges to find
Allard's favorite FMLs

Today, while trying to look cute and playing with my hair in front of a boy, I pulled a piece of my hair extension out. FML

By Roma-Jay / Sunday 22 July 2012 14:13 / United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

By gonavybeatarmy / Thursday 31 May 2012 05:28 / United States - San Diego

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 30 May 2012 01:55 / United States - Sioux City

Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

By daddyowl / Friday 25 May 2012 04:32 / Canada - Montreal

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

By Fireguy92 - / Friday 1 February 2013 04:39 / United States - Dewitt