allard

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allard

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4522
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About allard : I've always wanted someone to include me in their Bio's like people do with Perdix and Docbastard.

Anyway, I'm Chris.
That's about it. :3.

May the force be with you, and the odds, ever in your favor.

allard's page activity

Visits<b>M3DO</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:48am<b>mhersh_59</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 5:05pm<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 10:32am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 7:30pm<b>jill97</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 6:25am<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:27pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:59pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:45am<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:45pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:11am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:06pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:09pm<b>KinkyMissBinky</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:32pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:37pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:59pm<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:52pm<b>sappy23</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:33am<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:49pm

Fucked!<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 4:31pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 8:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:42pm

allard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of allard's badges

allard's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

by Luke / 11/07/2011 at 9:53am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

by wellthisisawkward80 / 11/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML

by candice / 11/01/2011 at 5:09am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

by poopcoloredeyes / 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

by ugh / 09/30/2011 at 3:45pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

by thefrightening1 / 09/05/2011 at 11:03am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 6:52am / United States / Health

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

by the girlfriend / 08/26/2011 at 6:41am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

by goldengirl / 08/26/2011 at 5:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2011 at 2:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

by jbthedude / 08/05/2011 at 5:57am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Health