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allard

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allard
  • Town/Country : Brisbane, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2376
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About allard : I've always wanted someone to include me in their Bio's like people do with Perdix and Docbastard.

Anyway, I'm Chris.
That's about it. :3.

May the force be with you, and the odds, ever in your favor.

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allard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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allard's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13615) - you deserved it (27873)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

#18170655
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24719) - you deserved it (15034)

On 11/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by wellthisisawkward80 - United States

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12434) - you deserved it (24706)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML

#18127186
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11636) - you deserved it (40498)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:09am - misc - by candice - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (2934)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

#17938205
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10584) - you deserved it (21799)

On 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

#17871769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22527) - you deserved it (2761)

On 09/30/2011 at 3:45pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (2769)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26522) - you deserved it (4012)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

#17584305
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20815) - you deserved it (3404)

On 08/26/2011 at 6:41am - love - by the girlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

#17584076
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17765) - you deserved it (13629)

On 08/26/2011 at 5:09am - health - by goldengirl - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19432) - you deserved it (1656)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML

#17565560
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (8288)

On 08/24/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

#17375706
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (3839)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:57am - health - by jbthedude - United Kingdom (Dorset)



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