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allard

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allard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3007
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About allard : I've always wanted someone to include me in their Bio's like people do with Perdix and Docbastard.

Anyway, I'm Chris.
That's about it. :3.

May the force be with you, and the odds, ever in your favor.

allard's page activity

Visits<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 1:08am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 9:29am<b>oops6663</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>useless_reject</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:37pm<b>BritSkits</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 12:05pm<b>CassyGirl1591</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:46pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:51pm<b>MuffinOfSuccess</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:22pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:08am<b>KatClifford</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:52pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:11am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:30am<b>battlehamster</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:39am<b>BookNerd_123</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 6:11pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:25pm<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:29am<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 9:43pm<b>toxic_walrus</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 8:37pm

allard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of allard's badges

allard's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16021) - you deserved it (32047)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

#18170655
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29091) - you deserved it (16438)

On 11/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by wellthisisawkward80 - United States

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16009) - you deserved it (35829)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML

#18127186
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12330) - you deserved it (41847)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:09am - misc - by candice - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32757) - you deserved it (3233)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

#17938205
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12231) - you deserved it (23773)

On 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

#17871769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (3154)

On 09/30/2011 at 3:45pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (2997)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29878) - you deserved it (4333)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

#17584305
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22996) - you deserved it (3617)

On 08/26/2011 at 6:41am - love - by the girlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

#17584076
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19604) - you deserved it (14610)

On 08/26/2011 at 5:09am - health - by goldengirl - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24363) - you deserved it (2348)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML

#17565560
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (8572)

On 08/24/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

#17375706
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22906) - you deserved it (3981)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:57am - health - by jbthedude - United Kingdom (Dorset)



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