allard

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allard

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4517
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About allard : I've always wanted someone to include me in their Bio's like people do with Perdix and Docbastard.

Anyway, I'm Chris.
That's about it. :3.

May the force be with you, and the odds, ever in your favor.

allard's page activity

Visits<b>M3DO</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:48am<b>mhersh_59</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 5:05pm<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 10:32am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 7:30pm<b>jill97</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 6:25am<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:27pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:59pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:45am<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:45pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:11am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:06pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:09pm<b>KinkyMissBinky</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:32pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:37pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:59pm<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:52pm<b>sappy23</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:33am<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:49pm

Fucked!<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 4:31pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 8:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:42pm

allard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of allard's badges

allard's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

by Spudzy / 04/11/2012 at 12:46pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

by kayadd33 / 04/10/2012 at 10:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

by 3hoursleftofwork / 03/28/2012 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Animals

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

by CamoElla / 02/19/2012 at 12:49am / United States / Kids

Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2012 at 7:16am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

by Arielle / 01/31/2012 at 6:07am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML

by Jen_ / 01/26/2012 at 5:08pm / France / Health

Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML

by StupidNurse / 01/26/2012 at 4:57pm / Germany / Work

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 1:43am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was so bored that I began searching for videos of people popping their pimples. FML

by nolife / 12/29/2011 at 7:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

by balkangirl94 / 12/23/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

by tommy / 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my dad took me to the 'Super Butcher'. It's basically a warehouse turned into a giant, walk-in meat freezer, complete with headless pig carcasses. I'm a vegetarian. FML

by frostedmist / 12/14/2011 at 3:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.