allard

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allard

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 July 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4014
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About allard : I've always wanted someone to include me in their Bio's like people do with Perdix and Docbastard.

Anyway, I'm Chris.
That's about it. :3.

May the force be with you, and the odds, ever in your favor.

allard's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 7:30pm<b>jill97</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 6:25am<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:27pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:59pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:45am<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:45pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:11am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:06pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:09pm<b>KinkyMissBinky</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:32pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:37pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:59pm<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:52pm<b>sappy23</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:33am<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:49pm<b>alice192823</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:19pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:42am<b>pavingboy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 3:55pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 8:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:42pm

allard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of allard's badges

allard's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

by anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 7:00am / United States / Animals

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML

by Sophie / 06/07/2012 at 3:47am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

by C0r1nn3 / 06/07/2012 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

by ilovezim29 / 06/03/2012 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

by Aldoch / 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm / Kids

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

by daddyowl / 05/25/2012 at 12:32am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

by aaah. / 05/24/2012 at 1:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML

by Asdf649 / 05/19/2012 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML

by Bridget / 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2012 at 4:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML

by monkeywrench / 05/01/2012 at 1:14am / United States / Love

Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML

by zomg / 04/30/2012 at 5:24am / United States (Florida) / Work