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allard

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allard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2834
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About allard : I've always wanted someone to include me in their Bio's like people do with Perdix and Docbastard.

Anyway, I'm Chris.
That's about it. :3.

May the force be with you, and the odds, ever in your favor.

allard's page activity

Visits<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:51pm<b>MuffinOfSuccess</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:22pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:08am<b>KatClifford</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:52pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:11am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:30am<b>battlehamster</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:39am<b>BookNerd_123</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 6:11pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:25pm<b>DreamBigDollFace</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:21am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:29am<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 9:43pm<b>toxic_walrus</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 8:37pm<b>RicoDay</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:35pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 4:42pm<b>anon90142</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:12pm<b>secondgradesucks</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 9:16am<b>bsav2748</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:05am

allard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of allard's badges

allard's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (8210)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

#19748698
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18460) - you deserved it (3096)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:00am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML

#19748438
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (6604)

On 06/07/2012 at 3:47am - misc - by Sophie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (4467)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

#19725175
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22154) - you deserved it (4323)

On 06/03/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by ilovezim29 - United States (California)

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

#19707961
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (4250)

On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

#19701580
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25737) - you deserved it (1641)

On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

#19676513
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20457) - you deserved it (2543)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by daddyowl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

#19671113
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32624) - you deserved it (6886)

On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML

#19644675
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24945) - you deserved it (2217)

On 05/19/2012 at 12:17am - love - by Asdf649 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML

#19582200
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (6423)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Bridget (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML

#19557146
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7755) - you deserved it (24473)

On 05/01/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML

#19556689
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19437) - you deserved it (2394)

On 05/01/2012 at 1:14am - love - by monkeywrench (woman) - United States

Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML

#19552160
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12420) - you deserved it (24492)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:24am - work - by zomg - United States (Florida)



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