allard

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allard

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 July 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4016
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About allard : I've always wanted someone to include me in their Bio's like people do with Perdix and Docbastard.

Anyway, I'm Chris.
That's about it. :3.

May the force be with you, and the odds, ever in your favor.

allard's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 7:30pm<b>jill97</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 6:25am<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:27pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:59pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:45am<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:45pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:11am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:06pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:09pm<b>KinkyMissBinky</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:32pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:37pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:59pm<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:52pm<b>sappy23</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:33am<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:49pm<b>alice192823</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:19pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:42am<b>pavingboy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 3:55pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 8:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:42pm

allard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of allard's badges

allard's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

by Saduglydad / 12/12/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

by n1a1t1h1a1n1 / 12/11/2012 at 2:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

by talker / 11/14/2012 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

by holyshitbatman / 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

by Anonimo / 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm / Italy (Sardegna) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, while trying to look cute and playing with my hair in front of a boy, I pulled a piece of my hair extension out. FML

by Roma-Jay / 07/22/2012 at 10:13am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

by waaah / 06/25/2012 at 3:00am / Australia / Love

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

by eddie818 / 06/10/2012 at 3:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML

by yeyt209 / 06/10/2012 at 3:46am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out through Instagram that the guy I'm dating has a wife and two kids. FML

by hailsatan666 / 06/09/2012 at 2:43pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I saw Thor and I wanted to see how realistic it was to be swinging a hammer around. Wrong idea. I ended up unconscious on the ground for ten whole minutes. FML

by runner2731 / 06/08/2012 at 4:09am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous