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alkaid

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alkaid
  • Town/Country : Alexandria & AbuDhabi, Egypt & UAE
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 June 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1623
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alkaid : Hello :)

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alkaid's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving on the highway, I got stuck in a traffic jam. Upon glancing over at the car in the next lane, I saw it was my ex as of a week ago. We sat in barely moving traffic right next to each other for half an hour. FML

#15920591
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (3741)

On 04/25/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66930) - you deserved it (9318)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34983) - you deserved it (6706)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38805) - you deserved it (8142)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (18981) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

#13789372
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (3309)

On 11/10/2010 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Cordoba)

Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML

#13147361
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (14154)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Laura - United States

Today, my kids thought it would be funny to put pictures of naked men and women as people's ID on my phone. They won't tell me how to change it back. FML

#11305876
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19156) - you deserved it (26184)

On 06/19/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Momma - Sent from mobile version

Today, me and a couple of friends decided to go camping in a national park . When we got there, a ranger came up to us and said, "There have been many sightings of coyotes, don't worry, if they charge you, they'll bluff and flee at the last moment." We met a coyote, it didn't bluff. FML

#10594461
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24607) - you deserved it (2956)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Coyote (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42459) - you deserved it (7707)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

#8586322
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26908) - you deserved it (5550)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:28am - love - by kal (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

#8512491
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9778) - you deserved it (37709)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

#5938772
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14345) - you deserved it (5408)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)



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