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alkaid

Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 4:44am) | Search for a member

alkaid

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2395
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alkaid : Hello :)

alkaid's page activity

Visits<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:53am<b>Rxp</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:23am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:13pm<b>OnePLAN</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:20pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 6:42am<b>hendy34</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:15am<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:09am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:27pm<b>f36k</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:41am<b>dtbaby01</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:12am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:51am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:41am<b>bfsd42</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 8:22pm<b>greggly123</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Biomed</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:26am<b>jmrgf</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 1:26am<b>superabsorBRENT</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 12:10am

Liked!<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:07pm

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alkaid's favorite FMLs

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14599) - you deserved it (52185) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8440) - you deserved it (54855)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

#19533768
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20213) - you deserved it (2198)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:04pm - health - by bucktooth - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42013) - you deserved it (3833)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14430) - you deserved it (50056)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14430) - you deserved it (50056)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32270) - you deserved it (4918)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML

#19070641
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23939) - you deserved it (11893)

On 02/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29114) - you deserved it (2899)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

#18997714
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12761) - you deserved it (26649)

On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boss fired me because I look like her ex-boyfriend. FML

#18894125
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27297) - you deserved it (2094)

On 01/23/2012 at 9:47pm - work - by moe472 (man) - United States

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

#18832495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (3200)

On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42672) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41641) - you deserved it (2235)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)



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