About alkaid : Hello :)
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25055) - you deserved it (2742)
On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42357) - you deserved it (2865)
On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (5600)
On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30952) - you deserved it (2265)
On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9003) - you deserved it (29760)
On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16116) - you deserved it (32339)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (10747)
On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years said she was leaving me because recently I wasn't making much money, and was playing too many video games. I recently got a raise at my job of 5 years. The job? Testing video games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (3109)
On 09/25/2011 at 4:12am - love - by Eric Moore - United States (Texas)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47860) - you deserved it (4811)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28901) - you deserved it (7064)
On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (3363)
On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (36767)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30905) - you deserved it (5001)
On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24370) - you deserved it (5601)
On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45941) - you deserved it (5586)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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