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alkaid

Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 4:44am) | Search for a member

alkaid

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2377
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alkaid : Hello :)

alkaid's page activity

Visits<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:53am<b>Rxp</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:23am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:13pm<b>OnePLAN</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:20pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 6:42am<b>hendy34</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:15am<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:09am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:27pm<b>f36k</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:41am<b>dtbaby01</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:12am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:51am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:41am<b>bfsd42</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 8:22pm<b>greggly123</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Biomed</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:26am<b>jmrgf</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 1:26am<b>superabsorBRENT</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 12:10am

Liked!<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:07pm

alkaid's FML badges

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alkaid's favorite FMLs

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13875) - you deserved it (37148)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

#19684129
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24178) - you deserved it (1752)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

#19671113
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32672) - you deserved it (6894)

On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

#19671113
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32672) - you deserved it (6894)

On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (3006)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22844) - you deserved it (3117)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

#19633356
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14916) - you deserved it (27598)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47272) - you deserved it (4377)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

#19629941
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19680) - you deserved it (3686)

On 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm - misc - by OytoBeAfather (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22613) - you deserved it (7652)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

#19612935
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (20260)

On 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

#19608696
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35806) - you deserved it (6133)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

#19577163
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (3946)

On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

#19575645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7795) - you deserved it (25852)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (9970)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States



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