alkaid

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Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 4:44am)

alkaid

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4675
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alkaid : Hello :)

alkaid's page activity

Visits<b>joco4</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:19pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 1:11pm<b>Roozb</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 6:56pm<b>crystalbeau98</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:03am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:09am<b>Paras_800</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 7:59pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:27pm<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:41am<b>mountainmanmike</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 6:52am<b>patts_</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:09pm<b>sb4331</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:44am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 11:25am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 9:11pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:28pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:01am<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:53am<b>Rxp</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:23am

Fucked!<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:27am<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:42am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:07pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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alkaid's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

by dany / 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

by aaah. / 05/24/2012 at 1:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

by aaah. / 05/24/2012 at 1:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

by sick and awkward / 05/20/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

by Vero / 05/17/2012 at 11:02am / Austria (Oberosterreich) / Love

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

by ...... / 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

by OytoBeAfather / 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

by FML / 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm / Finland / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Work

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

by lexii / 05/05/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Animals

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love