About alkaid : Hello :)
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4039) - you deserved it (12830)
On 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28983) - you deserved it (4265)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (2857)
On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5641) - you deserved it (17184)
On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26495) - you deserved it (7177)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10991) - you deserved it (37155) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6404) - you deserved it (38576)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15108) - you deserved it (1545)
On 04/26/2012 at 7:04pm - health - by bucktooth - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you deserved it (2675)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10584) - you deserved it (35219)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10584) - you deserved it (35219)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24589) - you deserved it (3412)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore
Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17499) - you deserved it (8083)
On 02/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (41491)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (2101)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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