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alkaid

Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 4:44am) | Search for a member

alkaid

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 June 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3601
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alkaid : Hello :)

alkaid's page activity

Visits<b>crystalbeau98</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:03am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:09am<b>Paras_800</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 7:59pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:27pm<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:41am<b>mountainmanmike</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 6:52am<b>patts_</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:09pm<b>sb4331</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:44am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 11:25am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 9:11pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:28pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:01am<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:53am<b>Rxp</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:23am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:13pm<b>OnePLAN</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:20pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 6:42am

Fucked!<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:27am<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:42am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:07pm

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alkaid's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (4745)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

#19933924
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (7356)

On 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

#19846175
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29347) - you deserved it (2365)

On 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by thinkimquitting (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27116) - you deserved it (4411)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24307) - you deserved it (7337)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24307) - you deserved it (7337)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

#19831438
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (8522)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by GM38 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

#19830472
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (4197)

On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

#19830472
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (4197)

On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

#19816534
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24518) - you deserved it (3285)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:22am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

#19775676
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28358) - you deserved it (2766)

On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

#19774183
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29673) - you deserved it (3677)

On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15424) - you deserved it (39910)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)



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