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alkaid

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alkaid

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2003
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alkaid : Hello :)

alkaid's page activity

Visits<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 11:17am<b>OnePLAN</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:20pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 6:42am<b>hendy34</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:15am<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:09am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:27pm<b>f36k</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:41am<b>dtbaby01</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:12am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:51am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:41am<b>bfsd42</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 8:22pm<b>greggly123</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Biomed</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:26am<b>jmrgf</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 1:26am<b>superabsorBRENT</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 12:10am<b>Dblocker</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 9:38pm<b>calvinf94</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 11:42am<b>Rxp</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 12:50am

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alkaid's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

#20087510
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18581) - you deserved it (1630)

On 09/25/2012 at 12:13am - health - by N/A (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18361) - you deserved it (1904)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15192) - you deserved it (3041)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

#20062154
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11782) - you deserved it (22835)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Gurl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went to a theme park. The first ride I went on broke down just as my cart reached the highest point. I had a nice view of my loving family laughing at me while management failed to fix the rollercoaster. FML

#20061769
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18834) - you deserved it (1509)

On 09/07/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26831) - you deserved it (1436)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

#20056763
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8260) - you deserved it (50575)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

#20054049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25437) - you deserved it (2503)

On 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by ImOverHere (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10637) - you deserved it (26249)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16748) - you deserved it (42624)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25861) - you deserved it (7468)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11421) - you deserved it (34229)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML

#20051062
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5621) - you deserved it (21626)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:20pm - misc - by bieberyoulittleSHIT (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML



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