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alkaid

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alkaid

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2031
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alkaid : Hello :)

alkaid's page activity

Visits<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 11:17am<b>OnePLAN</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:20pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 6:42am<b>hendy34</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:15am<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:09am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:27pm<b>f36k</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:41am<b>dtbaby01</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:12am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:51am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:41am<b>bfsd42</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 8:22pm<b>greggly123</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Biomed</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:26am<b>jmrgf</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 1:26am<b>superabsorBRENT</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 12:10am<b>Dblocker</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 9:38pm<b>calvinf94</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 11:42am<b>Rxp</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 12:50am

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alkaid's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59105) - you deserved it (5413)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50085) - you deserved it (4437)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56147) - you deserved it (15826)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47428) - you deserved it (8737)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47876) - you deserved it (23026)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45020) - you deserved it (8835)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53967) - you deserved it (18126)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50688) - you deserved it (4817)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66992) - you deserved it (8835)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60253) - you deserved it (5930)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45008) - you deserved it (12072)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43076) - you deserved it (4008)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (5756)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (5756)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (1766)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)



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