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alizehm

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alizehm

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  • Number of visits : 18
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alizehm's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

alizehm's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33942) - you deserved it (5285)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32480) - you deserved it (3949)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45459) - you deserved it (8037)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31000) - you deserved it (5641)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

#20510258
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (18646)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

#20507764
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35629) - you deserved it (3570)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

#20506765
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34149) - you deserved it (2118)

On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12425) - you deserved it (52780)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57390) - you deserved it (10869)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)



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