About alitbaby : My name's Alissa, or Ali. I'm fun as hell, and have some pretty funny stuff happen to me. Wanna know me? Get at me!
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Today, I was fired from my job as a middle school teacher. Why? I told an 8th grader that Santa Claus wasn't real. He cried and told my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27292) - you deserved it (8625)
On 12/18/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Firedfor..... (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26703) - you deserved it (2689)
On 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm - health - by drugbaby (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24968) - you deserved it (1341)
On 12/18/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Theo (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8754) - you deserved it (27650)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at Target buying four coloring books. As I was in line, the woman behind me said that buying coloring books was a good idea to keep my kids occupied. I smiled and said that it would give me a few minutes to relax. I am a 26 year old guy with no kids. The coloring books were for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11320) - you deserved it (25082)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by 2old4thiscrap (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39246) - you deserved it (2410)
On 12/02/2009 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in a sexy outfit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (3873)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (2237)
On 11/26/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by moviewalker (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20052) - you deserved it (2428)
On 11/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by oww - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5178) - you deserved it (52000)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14769) - you deserved it (23752)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (4310)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40816) - you deserved it (4380)
On 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm - love - by John - United States
Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32220) - you deserved it (3495)
On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4744) - you deserved it (41259)
On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 17 June 2013
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