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alitbaby
  • Town/Country : Amity, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2403
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alitbaby : Fuck off.

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alitbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37613) - you deserved it (14406)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

#12706799
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21227) - you deserved it (2277)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

#12617958
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34763) - you deserved it (6082)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

#12364417
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (6373)

On 08/07/2010 at 1:21am - love - by Hunterxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21478) - you deserved it (34711)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28412) - you deserved it (32125)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you deserved it (6922)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36046) - you deserved it (3484)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38431) - you deserved it (3286)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out. My mom didn't get my prescription for painkillers because she thought I'd get addicted. FML

#12188597
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44184) - you deserved it (3255)

On 07/29/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by Richmond24 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

#12077733
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9336) - you deserved it (31444)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by tstaeger (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I lied to a group of 8 year olds about having a boyfriend. FML

#12049549
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16415) - you deserved it (25518)

On 07/22/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by jennavankirk - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

#11076892
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33855) - you deserved it (21198)

On 06/09/2010 at 9:05am - intimacy - by DFR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother asked me if I'd heard of anal sex. Before I could fully process her question, she explained that it's dangerous because the tissues of the anus are finer and more susceptible to STDs. There were still forty minutes left in our car ride. FML

#10991585
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (3719)

On 06/05/2010 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by SlickMcK - United States (New York)



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