alitbaby

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Offline (the 08/16/2015 at 7:34am)

alitbaby

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9722
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alitbaby : Fuck off.

alitbaby's page activity

Visits<b>weedle99</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 12:01am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 6:04pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:58pm<b>AKanon</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 6:17pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:12am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:07am<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 3:36am<b>7Maverick</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:01pm<b>whattaguy</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:48pm<b>punjabi209</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 1:00pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:26am<b>WearingHats</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 11:25pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 9:42pm<b>Claude4</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 7:48pm<b>PantyGAMES</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 2:38am<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:28pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 11:16pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 7:01am

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alitbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2014 at 2:43pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

by just the tip, though / 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

by ChickenBallsPlease / 01/28/2014 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

by Pooper scooper / 01/28/2014 at 3:22am / Guam / Animals

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

by :( / 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm / Algeria / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

by mac / 01/27/2014 at 9:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 10:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

by Chuffberry / 02/16/2013 at 3:47am / United States (Colorado) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

by howannoying / 02/16/2013 at 1:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

by Scarlett / 02/16/2013 at 1:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

by uhoh / 02/16/2013 at 12:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML

by Nico / 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm / Work

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm / Venezuela (Lara) / Miscellaneous