Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alitbaby

Offline (the 02/02/2014 at 11:13pm) | Search for a member

alitbaby

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3256
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alitbaby : Fuck off.

alitbaby's page activity

Visits<b>whattaguy</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:48pm<b>punjabi209</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 1:00pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:26am<b>WearingHats</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 11:25pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 9:42pm<b>Claude4</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 7:48pm<b>PantyGAMES</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 2:38am<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:28pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 11:16pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 7:01am<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 4:16pm<b>miwako</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 11:36am<b>chance_is_alone</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 11:08pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 5:37pm<b>Rob2342</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:30am<b>oj101</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 11:52pm<b>Rihaan</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 7:17pm<b>RvidxrKlvn</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 1:52pm

alitbaby's FML badges

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of alitbaby's badges

alitbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24745) - you deserved it (7422)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27438) - you deserved it (5588)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

#20504938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28842) - you deserved it (1906)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:20pm - work - by death bed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31337) - you deserved it (3886)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27969) - you deserved it (26540)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16068) - you deserved it (26982)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (2752)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20009) - you deserved it (8761)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13161) - you deserved it (49507)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (4260)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML

#20499439
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44124) - you deserved it (5128)

On 02/09/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

#20499258
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38512) - you deserved it (5015)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

#20498998
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31276) - you deserved it (8036)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

#20498986
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18143) - you deserved it (38257)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: