alitbaby

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Offline (the 08/16/2015 at 7:34am)

alitbaby

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9386
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alitbaby : Fuck off.

alitbaby's page activity

Visits<b>weedle99</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 12:01am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 6:04pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:58pm<b>AKanon</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 6:17pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:12am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:07am<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 3:36am<b>7Maverick</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:01pm<b>whattaguy</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:48pm<b>punjabi209</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 1:00pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:26am<b>WearingHats</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 11:25pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 9:42pm<b>Claude4</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 7:48pm<b>PantyGAMES</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 2:38am<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:28pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 11:16pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 7:01am

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alitbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

by wtfjusthappened / 01/31/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

by CatBlock / 01/31/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

by ramble ramble / 01/30/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, while playing badminton at school, I got an opponent who is mentally handicapped. Since I'm terrible at the game, I guess the teacher assumed it would be a good match. I won the match, my first victory ever. My teacher accused me of cheating to humiliate him. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

by riiiight / 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

by CUNTCUNTCUNT / 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm / United Kingdom (Wrexham) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind and freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML

by Xpload / 01/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

by dope_mcfly / 01/29/2014 at 11:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I had an oral English exam to present in front of three teachers. Halfway through, I completely lost my voice. They failed me because they thought I was trying to play a prank. FML

by smileydays / 01/28/2014 at 10:09pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

by soon to be unemployed / 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Work

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Kids

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

by Order of the Dangling Testicles / 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (New York) / Love