About alitbaby : Fuck off.
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alitbaby's favorite FMLs
by wtfjusthappened / 01/31/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML
by CatBlock / 01/31/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML
by ramble ramble / 01/30/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, while playing badminton at school, I got an opponent who is mentally handicapped. Since I'm terrible at the game, I guess the teacher assumed it would be a good match. I won the match, my first victory ever. My teacher accused me of cheating to humiliate him. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids
by riiiight / 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by CUNTCUNTCUNT / 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm / United Kingdom (Wrexham) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind and freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML
by Xpload / 01/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML
by dope_mcfly / 01/29/2014 at 11:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by smileydays / 01/28/2014 at 10:09pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by soon to be unemployed / 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Kids
by Order of the Dangling Testicles / 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (New York) / Love
- Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,… Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I…